Originally uploaded by montanadreamaker
~I am so grateful today that I am not who I used to be.
~I remember looking in the mirror and asking myself why couldn't I stop drinking.
I lost all hope in who I was and hurt so much, that I could not bear it any longer.You see, I was chronic alcoholic. Everyday, when I woke up I felt the ever present feeling of impending doom. That aching you feel in your heart. That you're incomplete. That you're not pretty enough, strong enough,
smart enough or tall enough. Tits to small, Bad teeth. Major issues with the IRS, The ex. I felt a big gaping hole in my gut. No one could tell me NOT to drink. After all it's my life right?
The pain of betrayal is probably the very hardest to bear I carried the curses of resentment, anger, hate, jealousy, negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety Drunk & I was so sick. I hated my ex so much. I wanted to die. I raised our kids and the Montana State took my kids from me for neglect. I was at the bar drinking. I woke up every day with this cloud of impeding doom. I hated him, the countries system, myself. I had tried and failed at marriage, at careers and businesses I was at the end of the road and only when I heard direction from
~God and took action did things begin to change ... I can only tell you that I cried for three months and slept in my car car with my dog Shorter. Went to treatment and listened to what they said ... Fought the urge to drink ... I got so honest that I was this raw teary eyed creature walking around proclaiming the mercy of God ... GOD IS SO GOOD ... Be praying my friend. Always praying. The fear can not live in a heart that is praying and loving God
~Everyday I am grateful that God gave me another chance.
Replace that hopeless with gratitude and watch your life change.
Forgive, Forget, change your heart, change your life & change your destiny!
~You have a legacy that you were born into that influences you
until you make conscious choices to change your destiny!